One Saturday morning during a 14-month period in Sedona, Arizona, when my husband and I were trying to refinance our home mortgage with one of the three major banks, I called their customer service number to ensure that all our paperwork was in order. Much to my shock, a very rude agent informed me that our house was going into foreclosure in less than 30 days. When I asked why, she told me that “you haven’t signed the copy of your 2011 tax return.” I was aghast.
I responded that just two days prior I had received a letter from them telling us they had everything they needed and the paperwork was in order. Finally, I thought, after repeatedly resending them the same things for more than one year, they are ready to negotiate.
How many bank lies do I need to share that led to the demise of our home, our savings, our carefully nurtured credit rating?! An employee from the executive offices called me (at the behest of the Arizona State’s Attorneys Office) and after discussion and going through our file, said, “This [foreclosure] is a mistake.” She naively believed that when she said she would talk with her manager, he would actually do something about the situation. Of course, I never heard from them again.
Now you know the background for what comes next — downsizing from a 3,000 SF house to a 1,300 SF house. This meant giving, selling, junking lots of stuff. To make a long story short, we now live in the San Juan Islands of Washington. I have intermittently tried to picture the things we no longer own, and I don’t miss any of them. Well, that’s not totally true. I do pine now and then for our large Mexican farmhouse kitchen table.
And now we are getting rid of more goods, not that we specifically need the space, but because the radical purging of household items proved that we simply don’t need, or want, to clean, arrange and find room for similar belongings we once owned. I have discovered that every piece of some thing seeks our attention, and now I have filled my life with the intention for beauty with special items which provide intense meaning and pleasure as they share their own energy with me.
I’ve found that clearing away the extraneous has given me more expansive space to vision and to see the extraordinary details in the quietness of objects. For instance, I’ve discovered unusual insights as I ponder the delicate carving from an Alaskan whale bone, a lovely piece of art that was previously jammed on a shelf with four other elements. And what were those other things? I have no idea now. But I recognize the value of this artful gift that has traveled many miles with me.
I’m on a roll now, looking at objects more critically…do I need it or not? And if I say “I do” then why? It may be enough that the article itself is lovely to gaze at. What I do know is that once I got past the grieving stage of losing our home, I was able to begin focusing once more upon the unseen rewards that often come with unexpected calamities. I invite you to look at your environments, and mentally choose those aspects which bring joy to your heart. What expresses the beauty of your soul? Perhaps you can take time to view a few special items and meditate on their offerings. Often the most useful gift we are given is the ability to let go of the past that doesn’t serve us now and be present to the life we have before us — downsized, middle-sized or upsized.
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